The Yellow Brick Road

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, talented, gorgeous, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

---Marianne Williamson (albeit frequently misattributed to Nelson Mandela)

When I was little, I could never understand why my father looked so drained and defeated when he came home from work. Because I had been to his office. And there were swivel chairs! And candy bowls! Not to mention an endless supply of pens and printer paper for drawing pictures and writing stories. It seemed like a pretty good gig to me.

As of Wednesday, I will have spent two irretrievable years of my waning youth in a cubicle. Suffice it to say, The Mystery of the Long Face has been revealed. Work ain't workin,' and I need to leave. But I'm scared.

I'm freaked out by little details like rent, and health insurance, and food. I'm also worried about the unknown. Assuming that Gig the Next materializes (and that's a big assumption), who's to say that it won't be even more heartbreaking than Gig the Current?

So I think I know how my dad felt (feels?). But unlike cher papa, I don't have a spouse and children to think about. Which is a pretty damn lonely state of affairs most of the time, but it also means that the only thing standing between me and a much-needed leap of faith is courage.

Which way to the Emerald City? I need to speak with the Wizard...stat!